Seeking Joyful Simplicity

Your best life after 40 - living with purpose and vibrant health. Empowering you with a holistic approach: nourishing foods, herbal remedies, and self-care to reduce overwhelm, manage your weight, and enjoy vibrant health in your 40's, 50's, and beyond.

Living with Purpose

When You’re Stuck in Exhaustion and Can’t Get Motivated

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I was exhausted.

I was walking around in a mental fog.

I had crazy mood swings – moments of anger, anxiety, and sadness that came out of nowhere that made it difficult to navigate work and family.

Despite my regular routine of lifting weights and running, my weight kept going up and my clothes didn’t fit. 

I didn’t feel like myself – I felt broken and I was tired of living my life exhausted, anxious, stressed, irritable, and feeling old and frumpy.

I knew if I wanted to show up as my best self – for my family, my friends, and my work – I needed to make some changes.

But how do we find the energy to change our habits when we’re already feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? 

How to stop feeling so tired all the time pin

The transformation…

We think of transformation as something that happens quickly. We see people succeeding and think they were able to change overnight. And when we don’t see quick results from our own efforts, we assume we’re doing something wrong. Or maybe we believe we just can’t do it.

What we don’t see is the behind-the-scenes struggles. The progress followed by set-backs. Plateaus. The frustration. We don’t see all that because we only see the success. The results.

The truth is, transformation takes patience. And self-compassion.

Today I look back at how broken I was and wonder how I managed to function at all. I see how out of balance my life and my health was.

Oh, my current life isn’t perfect. I’m a woman in my 50s going through menopausal changes. Each year the aging process seems to accelerate. I work full-time, have two children still at home (both teen girls). I have a husband, an ex-husband I co-parent with, and I do more than my share of the household responsibilities.

But I sleep better at night. I have more energy for my life. I’m training for a duathlon event, with energy left over for my full-time job, parenting, gardening, homesteading, and working on my business. 

I have a healthy relationship with food – I don’t stress over what to eat and I enjoy a diet that feels balanced without leaving me feeling deprived.

My clothes fit again and I feel fit, strong, and healthy. And I feel more confident.

So how did I “Transform” my health? How do I feel better now than I have in the last five years?

  • It wasn’t from following a specialized meal plan (although I have made changes in what I eat)
  • There was no magical herbal supplement (although I do support my health with herbs).
  • No boot-camp style workouts or hours of strenuous exercise (but I do move my body in some way every day).

What I did do is give myself permission. I gave myself permission to start small. I had to lose the “all-or-nothing” mindset which kept me in a cycle of starting and stopping.

A healthy lifestyle is about doing a little each day rather than a lot once in a while. When we’re exhausted, pushing ourselves to perfection will knock us down every time.

This journey has changed my life, and for so many of my clients, and it’s why I put together my free guide:
5 Natural Ways to Have More Energy.

It includes the most impactful strategies I use to live with more vibrant health and energy.

Get a copy – it’s Free

And if you have any questions, let me know!

In vibrant health,

~ Michelle


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A Better Way to Start Your Day – How to Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude

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 How do you start your day? 

Are you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, feeling excited and optimistic?
Or do you drag yourself from bed with weariness and dread?

Despite our personal challenges, we can choose how we start our days.

I say “choose”, because we can be intentional in how we begin each day. Although I have children and a job with long hours and a long commute, I can choose to get up early or later, rush or take my time, make time for exercise or lie in bed, eat a good breakfast or hurry out the door. 

After a while it becomes a habit. And like anything else, we can either have good habits or bad habits. And how we start our mornings can have a huge impact on the rest of our day.

A Better Way to Start Your Day – How to Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Aristotle 

You can, with some thought and planning, reset your habits for waking up each day.

But it’s not just what we do in the mornings, it’s the thoughts and emotions we experience that will produce profound changes in our day. Especially when life is challenging, changing what we choose to think about as we get started each day can help us find more optimism and resilience.

 

Are your first thoughts of the day consumed with worry, stress, complaining, or other negative emotions? Try these simple ways to start your day with a positive attitude

 

Changing your morning mindset – Starting your day with more positive emotions and energy

Even before you get out of bed, start with noticing your thoughts – are they positive or negative? Are your first thoughts of the day consumed with worry, stress, complaining, or other negative emotions?

Start getting into the habit of asking yourself these questions when you wake up:

  • What can I be excited about today? (If you are unable to find excitement, how about something to feel grateful for?)
  • What, or who might cause me stress today? How can I respond in a positive way, from my higher self? (Visualize yourself responding to stress in a calm, positive way)
  • Who can I surprise today with a thank you or a moment of appreciation?
  • What emotions do I want to feel today? (Joyful, focused, carefree, determined, compassionate, happy, peaceful…)

Instead of jumping out of bed the second the alarm goes off (and turning to the outside world), or hitting snooze 5 times so that you have no time for yourself in the morning, build in some quiet time before starting your day.

Even if you don’t have a lot of time or energy, there are a few simple things you can use to create a positive morning routine. Just 5 minutes of one or more of these activities can change your entire day.

To create a more positive morning routine, try some of these:

  • Light stretching (even in bed!)
  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Journalling
  • Affirmations

It’s amazing how changing just the first few minutes can impact your whole day.

My challenge for you – Pay attention to how you start your day – your thoughts and your actions. Can you make it better? Make your plan to change and Get Started!

I would love to hear from you – What is your favorite way to start the day? 

With affection,~ Michelle

Start Your Day with Joy – Morning Affirmations

Join the Seeking Joyful Simplicity Community and receive 20 morning affirmations to help you start your day with joy.
When you join, you’ll be added to my email newsletter. You can unsubscribe anytime, no hard feelings. 🙂

 

 

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The Most Important Thing – Having the Courage to Live with Authenticity

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Living in the Moment

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The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself –  Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

I am constantly working on this relationship I have with myself. For the longest time I suffered from low self-esteem, always thinking there was something wrong, something flawed with me. Being a strong introvert probably didn’t help either, since I rarely felt comfortable in large social situations and always felt like a social misfit. (Although today I would say I am a happy social misfit.)

I remember in college, being at a large party, and feeling acutely uncomfortable. “What is wrong with me?” I thought. “Everyone is having a great time, why can’t I?”

It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I realized no matter how hard I try to make myself more outgoing, it will never be who I am. I am learning to accept who I am, as I am. Sometimes this is difficult, especially when it means exerting myself, setting boundaries, and being OK with not pleasing everyone.

Now I am in a new place, feeling a sense of control over my life and feeling like we are taking concrete steps to live more closely with our values. Our circumstances have changed. But I am still me.

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I guess it is inevitable that during this relatively calm and happy time in my life I will be forced to confront myself. That old saying “No matter where you go, there you are,” keeps coming to mind. I have had more time and space for reflection. Some insights into myself are making me consider how I view my life and my approach to situations.

Being very future-oriented, I find I continually struggle to stay present and mindful. This is particularly frustrating since the future I have longed for is here. Now. Today.

And so I am struggling to overcome my tendency to be so very goal and task-oriented. Although this can be a strength at times, it can lead to a dull life without some balance.

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Here I am, surrounded by natural beauty, and yet because of my tendency to be focused on goals and tasks, I find it difficult to simply allow myself time to just be. Like being present with family. Having fun. Being spontaneous.

Living with a four-year old is a great opportunity for learning to slow down and be joyfully present. Right in front of me I have this wonderful teacher. She lives almost entirely in the moment. She finds joy in the simplest of activities. She expresses her joy and love freely. Everything is still new to her, and she lives with a curiosity, spontaneity, and joy that I envy.

While I can’t always live on “four-year-old time”, I can certainly bring more of it into my life. And I truly believe the lessons she brings me today are just the ones I need most at this moment.

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“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” ― Henry David Thoreau

Hoping you are joyfully present in your moments.

~ Michelle

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How to Make Simple Joy a Priority – Living with Intention

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My husband and I recently returned from a 3-day hiking trip. We rent a small, simple, cabin in the Allegheny Mountains here in Virginia. No phone or internet services except at the ranger station or camp store. It gave us a chance to reconnect and enjoy some peaceful time away.

A big goal I set for myself at the start of 2021 was to make simple joy a priority. Taking these trips is one of the things that helps keep me grounded.

While the hiking was beautiful, I mostly enjoyed the solitude and time for quiet contemplation.

I’ve been feeling restless lately. With my oldest two children growing into independent young adults, but with a young teen still at home, I’m not an empty nester. And yet more and more I feel the shift in my family, and in myself.

There is excitement at watching my children become adults and pursue their own goals. And a nostalgia for the past. A little grief mixed in as well.

But I’m also feeling curious these days, and asking myself questions like:

  • Aside from family, what do I most value in life?
  • What would I like more of in my life?
  • What would I like less of in my life?
  • What excites me?
  • What would I like to accomplish in the next 10 years? Five years? One year?
  • What would my life look like if I achieved these goals?

I’ve been taking my time with these questions, trying out different ideas. Using my imagination and painting a picture with the different possibilities.

In my 20’s life was about pursuing an education and life experiences – college, travel, graduate school and starting my career.

In my 30’s it was about raising a family, living a homeschooling lifestyle, and searching for work-life balance (which doesn’t actually exist I discovered).

In my 40’s it was about parenting older children, downsizing, and pursuing a simpler life.

Now, at 52 and married to a man about to turn 62, I am wondering, “What comes next?”

I admit I feel a little guilty thinking this way when my young teen still needs so much parenting. I feel like I have one foot each in two different worlds.

I don’t know other moms like me, and so I recently went online searching for a little inspiration. The blogs I once found inspiring have changed as the writers’ life experiences have changed.

Looking at lifestyle content for mothers, they are all younger women with young children (which was me 15 years ago). Looking at “midlife” content, they all seem to be about travel, fashion, and retirement for women in midlife. I can’t relate.

So here I am, remembering how I used to create my own inspiration through writing, photography, and sharing my personal experiences.

Instead of being carried along by life, I want to live with intention. Living intentionally means creating a balanced life full of meaning and purpose. Stepping out of mindless activities and the daily habits that happen on autopilot and setting out each day to ensure we engage in meaningful activities that serve a good purpose and will have a positive influence on our lives.

We do this with the gift of quiet contemplation time – time to think and dream and plan. Which brings me back to a few of my original questions:

What do you want less of in your life?

Less:

  • Overwhelm
  • Less pressure to always get everything right
  • Less pressure on myself – with unrealistic expectations and self-criticism
  • Less stress and worry over things I can’t control

What do you want more of in your life?

More:

  • More peace
  • More gratitude
  • More time and space for quiet contemplation
  • More simple joy – laughter, fun, enthusiasm
  • More contentment
  • And to still enjoy a sense of purpose and life satisfaction

As far as what I’d like to accomplish in the next 10, 5, and 1 year…I’m still figuring that part out.

I’m curious – What about you – what do you want LESS of in your life? 

And more importantly, what do you want MORE of in your life?


Wishing you peace and gratitude,
~ Michelle

Find joy in the simple moments.

Enjoy this Free 30-Page PDF workbook

Yes Please!
Slowing Down and Living Joyfully
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How to Stop Stress Eating Breaking the Pattern

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How to Stop Comfort Eating and Stress Eating

The Shame. Guilt. Disappointment.

Stress eating. Comfort eating.

I know what emotional eating is like – coming home, feeling stressed and anxious and having an overwhelming urge to eat. Heading straight to the kitchen and reaching for the familiar favorite comfort foods. 

It felt like I was eating on autopilot, barely pausing between mouth-fulls. There was no sense of fullness or satisfaction, although the eating did make me feel better in the moment. 

Knowing I should stop, but not wanting to. The thoughts of, “Well, I blew it, so I might as well just keep on eating.” Planning to do better tomorrow, there was always tomorrow. But knowing in the back of my mind I’d probably fail again. I knew I didn’t want to feel this way about myself, but I also didn’t know how to stop stress eating.

Then, after, feeling a little sick at how much junk I had eaten. The shame and sense of disappointment. Emotional eating caused more of the negative feelings I was trying to deal with.

It was a vicious cycle.

But I broke free, and if you struggle, I know you can too.

How to stop comfort and stress eating

So how do we change this destructive pattern? How do we stop stress eating?

It starts with self-compassion. Understanding that there are things we are struggling with, and we are doing the best we can. 

We also need awareness – awareness to understand our triggers, and an open willingness and curiosity to experiment to find healthy alternatives. 

If we want to break the pattern of stress eating, comfort eating, instead of just trying to stop, we need strategies – some will work better than others, depending on the day, the circumstances, and our mood.

The first thing I want you to do is to think about your triggers – the where and the when.

Second, make a list of possible alternative actions that will deliver a reward, without sabotaging your health and well-being. Being mindful, having a plan, and then taking new action. 

Third – be compassionate when you find yourself struggling. And remind yourself that it will pass – I think, for many of us, there is the fear that we won’t be able to feel centered and in control again, that the cravings will just go on and on, and we will end up returning to poor eating patterns.

Pay attention to your triggers – and have a plan for alternative ways you can cope. 

  • If you are depressed or lonely, call, text, or make plans with someone.
  • If you’re anxious, expend your nervous energy by dancing to your favorite song, squeezing a stress ball, or taking a brisk walk.
  • If you’re exhausted, treat yourself with a hot cup of tea, take a bath, light some scented candles, or wrap yourself in a warm blanket.
  • Take a brief walk
  • Read something inspiring (you could write your own positive mantra or affirmation and store it on your phone or keep it in your wallet, or wherever you can have access when you need it.
  • Watch a funny video or read some silly jokes online – laughter is a great stress-reliever.
  • Practice deep breathing. Inhale slowly to the count of four – pause – then exhale slowly to the count of four. Repeat four times.

Pause and check in with yourself when you feel the urge to comfort eat. Can you put off eating for 5 minutes?

While you are waiting, check in with yourself – how are you feeling? What do you really need right now? What would truly feel nourishing – mentally, physically, emotionally?

If you find yourself comfort eating, slow down and really pay attention to your food – the taste, texture, colors. Put the fork down between bites, and aim to chew food at least 15-30 times. Bringing more mindfulness to eating helps us receive more pleasure, feel more satisfied, and feel fuller sooner.

And finally, I want you to know you are definitely not alone in this. So, so many people struggle with this. Instead of hiding in shame, let’s talk about it and support each other.

What’s your biggest trigger for stress eating?

What are some ideas you have to change this pattern?
Let me know in the comments, or join the Seeking Joyful Simplicity Facebook Group for more ideas and support for living with Vibrant Health.
~ Michelle

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Letter to Myself – Stop Putting Off Happiness

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Stop Putting Off Happiness

 “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

Why is happiness and contentment so elusive? Why, even when we accomplish our goals, or get what we want, do we so quickly find ourselves feeling unhappy, restless, and discontented? How do we stop putting off happiness for later, and what is the secret to being happy now?

Are you guilty of waiting to be happy?

Maybe you will find happiness when you get a new job, lose some weight, or have more self-confidence. Whatever it is, if you always look toward tomorrow for happiness, chances are you will do the same when you attain what you’ve been dreaming of.

I know, because this is exactly what I do – whenever I achieve something important, I start looking for the next thing to make me happy. And I’m not just talking about stuff.

I am finally realizing this is not a healthy way to live, and honestly, I am sick and tired of chasing happiness.

Enough is enough. I am giving myself a good firm talking to, and here is my letter to myself. If you are in the habit of putting off happiness, maybe this will help you too.

Stop Seeking and Start Being Happy Now

Dear Michelle,

There comes a time when you have to stop seeking and just be. The joy and contentment you seek is already available to you. Instead of seeking joyful simplicity, learn to discover the joy already present in your life. 

You don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect. YOU don’t have to be perfect.

Life is messy, complicated, and sometimes really, really hard. Sometimes you screw up. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happiness.

And you know from experience, even in the worst of times, there is beauty, grace, laughter, and joy to be found.

So why can’t you find the beauty and joy every day?

Michelle, let me gently remind you how to stop putting off happiness so you can enjoy being happy now.

Pay Attention

Pay attention. When you pay attention, you notice the simple, wonderful, incredible things in your life. And trust me, they are there.

It’s the ordinary moments – your children sharing patience and kindness with each other; the gentle hum of summer crickets; the way your coworker went out of her way to help someone; the late afternoon light shining across the table; the simple meal shared at the family table. These are the simple moments that make up a beautiful, joyful life.

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” – William Morris

 

Why are we so quick to feel restless and unhappy, even when we get what we want? How do we stop putting off happiness for later, and what is the secret to being happy now?

 

Let Go

Let go. Take a deep breath Michelle, and relax. Everything does not have to be perfect. You do not have to be perfect. You will always make mistakes, feel vulnerable, and sometimes life will be hard and painful, and things will definitely not go your way. But that’s okay, because you can handle it. You know you can. So just let go – of your fear, your disappointment, and your worry.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – Allen Saunders

 

Remember Gratitude

Feel gratitude. Remember to pause and consider all that is right in life. The good health, the good people, and the beauty in your life. Don’t forget these things Michelle! They are a part of you, and the only way not to take them for granted is to remember. Feel gratitude every day.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”  – Oprah Winfrey

 

Slow Down

Stop hurrying and decide to enjoy the process. There will always be more meals to cook, dishes to wash, weeds to pull, and laundry to clean. Joyful living doesn’t just happen in the in-between moments. So you might as well learn to enjoy the process. Slowing down and living joyfully is easier than you think.

 “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius

 

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

It’s time to stop being so hard on yourself. You are good enough, just as you are. You can be both amazing and a work in progress all at once. Don’t be afraid to live vulnerable, forgive yourself for your mistakes, and celebrate your strengths.

“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” – Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive

Why are we so quick to feel restless and unhappy, even when we get what we want? How do we stop putting off happiness for later, and what is the secret to being happy now?

 

The Trap of Putting Off Happiness

This is it, Michelle. Time to stop falling into the trap of putting off happiness.

Happiness isn’t about having all the pieces in just the right place. It isn’t about living a simple, problem-free life, or reaching a certain goal.

Being happy is not a selfish or naive way to move through life – being happy makes you more resilient in the inevitable tough times, and helps you help others.

Happiness is available in so many ways, and it starts with changing your mindset.

So do it. Change your mindset.

 

Wishing you peace and happiness,
~ Michelle

 

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