Your best life after 40 - living with purpose and vibrant health. Empowering you with a holistic approach: nourishing foods, herbal remedies, and self-care to reduce overwhelm, manage your weight, and enjoy vibrant health in your 40's, 50's, and beyond.
Autumn is here to remind us nothing lasts forever. We can hold on as tight as we can, but life goes on, the world turns, and everything changes. Have you seen it, the beauty hidden in the light? Have you felt it, the cozy feeling of home?
My sorrow, when she’s here with me, thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be; she loves the bare, the withered tree; she walks the sodden pasture lane.
~ Robert Frost
Michelle
How do you start your day?
Are you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, feeling excited and optimistic?
Or do you drag yourself from bed with weariness and dread?
Despite our personal challenges, we can choose how we start our days.
I say “choose”, because we can be intentional in how we begin each day. Although I have children and a job with long hours and a long commute, I can choose to get up early or later, rush or take my time, make time for exercise or lie in bed, eat a good breakfast or hurry out the door.
After a while it becomes a habit. And like anything else, we can either have good habits or bad habits. And how we start our mornings can have a huge impact on the rest of our day.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Aristotle
You can, with some thought and planning, reset your habits for waking up each day.
But it’s not just what we do in the mornings, it’s the thoughts and emotions we experience that will produce profound changes in our day. Especially when life is challenging, changing what we choose to think about as we get started each day can help us find more optimism and resilience.
Even before you get out of bed, start with noticing your thoughts – are they positive or negative? Are your first thoughts of the day consumed with worry, stress, complaining, or other negative emotions?
Start getting into the habit of asking yourself these questions when you wake up:
Instead of jumping out of bed the second the alarm goes off (and turning to the outside world), or hitting snooze 5 times so that you have no time for yourself in the morning, build in some quiet time before starting your day.
Even if you don’t have a lot of time or energy, there are a few simple things you can use to create a positive morning routine. Just 5 minutes of one or more of these activities can change your entire day.
To create a more positive morning routine, try some of these:
It’s amazing how changing just the first few minutes can impact your whole day.
My challenge for you – Pay attention to how you start your day – your thoughts and your actions. Can you make it better? Make your plan to change and Get Started!
I would love to hear from you – What is your favorite way to start the day?
With affection,~ Michelle
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The Most Important Thing – Having the Courage to Live with Authenticity
The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself – Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
I am constantly working on this relationship I have with myself. For the longest time I suffered from low self-esteem, always thinking there was something wrong, something flawed with me. Being a strong introvert probably didn’t help either, since I rarely felt comfortable in large social situations and always felt like a social misfit. (Although today I would say I am a happy social misfit.)
I remember in college, being at a large party, and feeling acutely uncomfortable. “What is wrong with me?” I thought. “Everyone is having a great time, why can’t I?”
It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I realized no matter how hard I try to make myself more outgoing, it will never be who I am. I am learning to accept who I am, as I am. Sometimes this is difficult, especially when it means exerting myself, setting boundaries, and being OK with not pleasing everyone.
Now I am in a new place, feeling a sense of control over my life and feeling like we are taking concrete steps to live more closely with our values. Our circumstances have changed. But I am still me.
I guess it is inevitable that during this relatively calm and happy time in my life I will be forced to confront myself. That old saying “No matter where you go, there you are,” keeps coming to mind. I have had more time and space for reflection. Some insights into myself are making me consider how I view my life and my approach to situations.
Being very future-oriented, I find I continually struggle to stay present and mindful. This is particularly frustrating since the future I have longed for is here. Now. Today.
And so I am struggling to overcome my tendency to be so very goal and task-oriented. Although this can be a strength at times, it can lead to a dull life without some balance.
Here I am, surrounded by natural beauty, and yet because of my tendency to be focused on goals and tasks, I find it difficult to simply allow myself time to just be. Like being present with family. Having fun. Being spontaneous.
Living with a four-year old is a great opportunity for learning to slow down and be joyfully present. Right in front of me I have this wonderful teacher. She lives almost entirely in the moment. She finds joy in the simplest of activities. She expresses her joy and love freely. Everything is still new to her, and she lives with a curiosity, spontaneity, and joy that I envy.
While I can’t always live on “four-year-old time”, I can certainly bring more of it into my life. And I truly believe the lessons she brings me today are just the ones I need most at this moment.
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” ― Henry David Thoreau
Hoping you are joyfully present in your moments.
~ Michelle
My husband and I recently returned from a 3-day hiking trip. We rent a small, simple, cabin in the Allegheny Mountains here in Virginia. No phone or internet services except at the ranger station or camp store. It gave us a chance to reconnect and enjoy some peaceful time away.
A big goal I set for myself at the start of 2021 was to make simple joy a priority. Taking these trips is one of the things that helps keep me grounded.
While the hiking was beautiful, I mostly enjoyed the solitude and time for quiet contemplation.
I’ve been feeling restless lately. With my oldest two children growing into independent young adults, but with a young teen still at home, I’m not an empty nester. And yet more and more I feel the shift in my family, and in myself.
There is excitement at watching my children become adults and pursue their own goals. And a nostalgia for the past. A little grief mixed in as well.
But I’m also feeling curious these days, and asking myself questions like:
I’ve been taking my time with these questions, trying out different ideas. Using my imagination and painting a picture with the different possibilities.
In my 20’s life was about pursuing an education and life experiences – college, travel, graduate school and starting my career.
In my 30’s it was about raising a family, living a homeschooling lifestyle, and searching for work-life balance (which doesn’t actually exist I discovered).
In my 40’s it was about parenting older children, downsizing, and pursuing a simpler life.
Now, at 52 and married to a man about to turn 62, I am wondering, “What comes next?”
I admit I feel a little guilty thinking this way when my young teen still needs so much parenting. I feel like I have one foot each in two different worlds.
I don’t know other moms like me, and so I recently went online searching for a little inspiration. The blogs I once found inspiring have changed as the writers’ life experiences have changed.
Looking at lifestyle content for mothers, they are all younger women with young children (which was me 15 years ago). Looking at “midlife” content, they all seem to be about travel, fashion, and retirement for women in midlife. I can’t relate.
So here I am, remembering how I used to create my own inspiration through writing, photography, and sharing my personal experiences.
Instead of being carried along by life, I want to live with intention. Living intentionally means creating a balanced life full of meaning and purpose. Stepping out of mindless activities and the daily habits that happen on autopilot and setting out each day to ensure we engage in meaningful activities that serve a good purpose and will have a positive influence on our lives.
We do this with the gift of quiet contemplation time – time to think and dream and plan. Which brings me back to a few of my original questions:
What do you want less of in your life?
Less:
What do you want more of in your life?
More:
As far as what I’d like to accomplish in the next 10, 5, and 1 year…I’m still figuring that part out.
I’m curious – What about you – what do you want LESS of in your life?
And more importantly, what do you want MORE of in your life?
Wishing you peace and gratitude,
~ Michelle
Find joy in the simple moments.
Want a simple craft project you can finish in less than an hour AND will make you feel better? This DIY rice heating pad can be made in less than an hour with 8 easy steps. Homemade heating pads can be used to soothe back and neck pains, warm your bed on a cold night, or you can put them in the freezer and use cold to reduce swelling and inflammation. Ready to learn how to make your own heating pad with rice? Follow these 8 easy steps!
Don’t you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? It’s painful, isn’t it? That’s why I love you using microwavable rice pads to soothe my aching neck, shoulders, and back. I have a whole collection of them. If you go out and buy them, you will find they are ridiculously over-priced. But that’s OK, because they are incredibly easy to make yourself.
Even if you don’t have a lot of sewing skill or time, you can easily make yourself a “Back Buddy” to ease your aches and pains. And, they make cute gifts! Ready to make your own?
8 Steps – see photos with descriptions below.
And you are done!
This part is actually optional. But my fabric was pretty crushed and wrinkled. I used a bed sheet I purchased from a thrift store. It was in great condition, but had no matching bottom sheet or pillow cases. I washed it first, of course!
I enjoy using a rotary cutter, but scissors can be used too!
And there you have it – your own DIY Rice Heating Pad. I made one for each of my children – they are a wonderful way to make the winter bed warm and cozy.
Happy sewing!
~ Michelle
As I look out my windows this week, I see drizzle and mountains lost in gray clouds. Last week’s sun and warmth is gone, and winter has moved in.
I love the colors of winter – deep violets, grays, and blues. With the shift in light, color, and temperatures, comes a subtle shift in mood as well. Despite the beauty, too many gray days in a row can leave me feeling a little blue.
There are two ways to approach the winter blues – one is resistance. But of course resistance leads us no where when we cannot control the weather. The second approach is acceptance. Embracing the weather means looking for the beauty, finding a sense of gratitude, and knowing the best ways to care for ourselves when we feel the winter blues coming on.
I struggle with mild Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and this year I am entering the season with a plan to stay as healthy, energetic, and happy as I can.
Dr. Norman Rosenthal describes SAD:
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that occurs regularly, every autumn and winter, when the days get short and dark, though it may occur at other times as well. The reason it occurs mostly during the winter months is that one of the main causes of the condition is a lack of sunlight. Other situations in which people don’t get enough sunlight include cloudy or rainy periods at other times of year, living in dark places and working for long hours in dark offices. Whenever there is insufficient sunlight, those people who are vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder may develop symptoms.
As a health coach working with people by phone and Skype from places all over the United States, I discovered just how common seasonal affective disorder is. During our conversations, people often shared with me their low energy, lack of motivation, and difficulty with depression during the darker months of the winter. Symptoms of SAD range from mild to severe.
Self-awareness is crucial, as is having a plan. Here are the strategies I’m using to keep myself healthy this season:
Although circumstances of life often prevent us from going to bed earlier and sleeping later, try to make adjustments where you can. Winter is traditionally a time for slowing down, reflection, and more restful activities. Keep this in mind as you plan your activities, especially now during the holiday season. Make rest a priority.
Low energy and depression often leads to cravings for sweets and carbohydrates, which offer a serotonin boost. But too many carbohydrates and sugar can lead to a crash and feeling even more sluggish, not to mention winter weight gains. Balance your meals with healthy sources of protein and fat.
I use additional lights, especially in the morning, to brighten my winter home. White twinkly lights in my room, a simple table lamp added to the kitchen island, and even candles brighten my spaces and lift my mood. There are “light boxes” sold specifically for treating SAD, and I have spoken to a few people who use them with success. The Mayo Clinic has a brief article on choosing the best light boxes for treating SAD.
It can be a challenge to be physically active during the cold winter months, especially when the days are short. I find I enjoy being outside in all kinds of weather, but it takes a whole lot of motivation to get myself dressed properly and out the door. Even short walks in fresh air can have a big impact on our mood.
Try some stretches or yoga. American Council on Exercise (ACE) has an exercise library with illustrated instructions, and videos to help you choose exercises based on equipment (even if you have none), body part, and fitness level. Visit the library here.
There is something therapeutic about spending time in nature. When I lived in the city, a simple walk along a tree-lined street had an effect on me. Find a nature spot, bundle up, cover up, and learn to enjoy the changing beauty with the seasons.
Ups and downs in energy and enthusiasm are natural, and I try to remind myself it’s OK to have a bad day. But when bad days become the norm, I know I need to make adjustments. And I remind myself, the sun will return, and the days will get longer.
~Michelle
Do you experience changes with the seasons? Have you felt the winter blues? How do you take care of yourself during these times?
More resources for Seasonal Affective Disorder:
Norman Rosenthal, MD – Seasonal Affective Disorder
Could Your “Holiday Blues” be Seasonal Affective Disorder? – Medline Plus
