Seeking Joyful Simplicity

Living in the Moment

7:22 am by Seeking Joyful Simplicity 12 Comments

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself – Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

I am constantly working on this relationship I have with myself. For the longest time I suffered from low self-esteem, always thinking there was something wrong, something flawed with me. Being a strong introvert probably didn’t help either, since I rarely felt comfortable in large social situations and always felt like a social misfit. (Although today I would say I am a happy social misfit.)

I remember in college, being at a large party, and feeling acutely uncomfortable. “What is wrong with me?” I thought. “Everyone is having a great time, why can’t I?”

It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I realized no matter how hard I try to make myself more outgoing, it will never be who I am. I am learning to accept who I am, as I am. Sometimes this is difficult, especially when it means exerting myself, setting boundaries, and being OK with not pleasing everyone.

Now I am in a new place, feeling a sense of control over my life and feeling like we are taking concrete steps to live more closely with our values. Our circumstances have changed. But I am still me.

I guess it is inevitable that during this relatively calm and happy time in my life I will be forced to confront myself. That old saying “No matter where you go, there you are,” keeps coming to mind. I have had more time and space for reflection. Some insights into myself are making me consider how I view my life and my approach to situations.

Being very future-oriented, I find I continually struggle to stay present and mindful. This is particularly frustrating since the future I have longed for is here. Now. Today.

And so I am struggling to overcome my tendency to be so very goal and task-oriented. Although this can be a strength at times, it can lead to a dull life without some balance.

Here I am, surrounded by natural beauty, and yet because of my tendency to be focused on goals and tasks, I find it difficult to simply allow myself time to just be. Like being present with family. Having fun. Being spontaneous.

Living with a four-year old is a great opportunity for learning to slow down and be joyfully present. Right in front of me I have this wonderful teacher. She lives almost entirely in the moment. She finds joy in the simplest of activities. She expresses her joy and love freely. Everything is still new to her, and she lives with a curiosity, spontaneity, and joy that I envy.

While I can’t always live on “four-year-old time”, I can certainly bring more of it into my life. And I truly believe the lessons she brings me today are just the ones I need most at this moment.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” ― Henry David Thoreau

Hoping you are joyfully present in your moments.

~ Michelle

How to Make Simple Joy a Priority – Living with Intention

12:05 pm by Seeking Joyful Simplicity Leave a Comment

My husband and I recently returned from a 3-day hiking trip. We rent a small, simple, cabin in the Allegheny Mountains here in Virginia. No phone or internet services except at the ranger station or camp store. It gave us a chance to reconnect and enjoy some peaceful time away.

A big goal I set for myself at the start of 2021 was to make simple joy a priority. Taking these trips is one of the things that helps keep me grounded.

While the hiking was beautiful, I mostly enjoyed the solitude and time for quiet contemplation.

I’ve been feeling restless lately. With my oldest two children growing into independent young adults, but with a young teen still at home, I’m not an empty nester. And yet more and more I feel the shift in my family, and in myself.

There is excitement at watching my children become adults and pursue their own goals. And a nostalgia for the past. A little grief mixed in as well.

But I’m also feeling curious these days, and asking myself questions like:

Aside from family, what do I most value in life?
What would I like more of in my life?
What would I like less of in my life?
What excites me?
What would I like to accomplish in the next 10 years? Five years? One year?
What would my life look like if I achieved these goals?

I’ve been taking my time with these questions, trying out different ideas. Using my imagination and painting a picture with the different possibilities.

In my 20’s life was about pursuing an education and life experiences – college, travel, graduate school and starting my career.

In my 30’s it was about raising a family, living a homeschooling lifestyle, and searching for work-life balance (which doesn’t actually exist I discovered).

In my 40’s it was about parenting older children, downsizing, and pursuing a simpler life.

Now, at 52 and married to a man about to turn 62, I am wondering, “What comes next?”

I admit I feel a little guilty thinking this way when my young teen still needs so much parenting. I feel like I have one foot each in two different worlds.

I don’t know other moms like me, and so I recently went online searching for a little inspiration. The blogs I once found inspiring have changed as the writers’ life experiences have changed.

Looking at lifestyle content for mothers, they are all younger women with young children (which was me 15 years ago). Looking at “midlife” content, they all seem to be about travel, fashion, and retirement for women in midlife. I can’t relate.

So here I am, remembering how I used to create my own inspiration through writing, photography, and sharing my personal experiences.

Instead of being carried along by life, I want to live with intention. Living intentionally means creating a balanced life full of meaning and purpose. Stepping out of mindless activities and the daily habits that happen on autopilot and setting out each day to ensure we engage in meaningful activities that serve a good purpose and will have a positive influence on our lives.

We do this with the gift of quiet contemplation time – time to think and dream and plan. Which brings me back to a few of my original questions:

What do you want less of in your life?

Less:

Overwhelm
Less pressure to always get everything right
Less pressure on myself – with unrealistic expectations and self-criticism
Less stress and worry over things I can’t control

What do you want more of in your life?

More peace
More gratitude
More time and space for quiet contemplation
More simple joy – laughter, fun, enthusiasm
More contentment
And to still enjoy a sense of purpose and life satisfaction

As far as what I’d like to accomplish in the next 10, 5, and 1 year…I’m still figuring that part out.

I’m curious – What about you – what do you want LESS of in your life?

And more importantly, what do you want MORE of in your life?

Wishing you peace and gratitude,
~ Michelle

Find joy in the simple moments.

Enjoy this Free 30-Page PDF workbook

Yes Please!

Slowing Down and Living Joyfully

Back Buddy – DIY Rice Heating Pad in 8 Easy Steps

7:47 am by Seeking Joyful Simplicity Leave a Comment

Want a simple craft project you can finish in less than an hour AND will make you feel better? This DIY rice heating pad can be made in less than an hour with 8 easy steps. Homemade heating pads can be used to soothe back and neck pains, warm your bed on a cold night, or you can put them in the freezer and use cold to reduce swelling and inflammation. Ready to learn how to make your own heating pad with rice? Follow these 8 easy steps!

This post contains affiliate links which means if you purchase through these links, I receive a small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Seeking Joyful Simplicity ~ Michelle

Don’t you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? It’s painful, isn’t it? That’s why I love you using microwavable rice pads to soothe my aching neck, shoulders, and back. I have a whole collection of them. If you go out and buy them, you will find they are ridiculously over-priced. But that’s OK, because they are incredibly easy to make yourself.

Even if you don’t have a lot of sewing skill or time, you can easily make yourself a “Back Buddy” to ease your aches and pains. And, they make cute gifts! Ready to make your own?

How to Make Your Own Heating Pad with Rice

8 Steps – see photos with descriptions below.

Press your fabric.
Fold the fabric in half – right sides together (the pretty side should be inside the fold). Then measure 8″ down from the folded edge, and 16″ for the length.
Cut your 8″ x 16″ rectangle.
Keeping the right sides together, pin the fabric edges, leaving one short end open (this will be where we fill the bag with rice).
Sew along the pinned edges. I used the sewing machine, but you can hand sew as well.
Turn your bag right side out.
Fill 2/3 full with rice.
Sew the opening closed.

And you are done!

DIY Rice Heating Pad

Step One – Press your fabric

This part is actually optional. But my fabric was pretty crushed and wrinkled. I used a bed sheet I purchased from a thrift store. It was in great condition, but had no matching bottom sheet or pillow cases. I washed it first, of course!

Step Two – Fold the fabric in half, right sides together to form a rectangle. Measure 8″ from the folded seam, and 16″ along the bottom.

Step Three – Cut your 8″ x 16″ rectangle

I enjoy using a rotary cutter, but scissors can be used too!

Step Four – Keeping the right sides together – Pin two of the fabric edges, leaving one short end open (this is where you will add your rice.)

Step Five – Sew along the pinned edges – If hand sewing, make sure your stitches are close, you don’t want to lose your rice!

Step Six – Turn your bag right side out

Step Seven – Fill your bag 2/3 full with rice

Step Eight – Sew the final side closed

And there you have it – your own DIY Rice Heating Pad. I made one for each of my children – they are a wonderful way to make the winter bed warm and cozy.

Happy sewing!
~ Michelle

Violet, Gray, and the Winter Blues – Dealing with Winter Depression

9:02 am by Seeking Joyful Simplicity 5 Comments

As I look out my windows this week, I see drizzle and mountains lost in gray clouds. Last week’s sun and warmth is gone, and winter has moved in.

I love the colors of winter – deep violets, grays, and blues. With the shift in light, color, and temperatures, comes a subtle shift in mood as well. Despite the beauty, too many gray days in a row can leave me feeling a little blue.

There are two ways to approach the winter blues – one is resistance. But of course resistance leads us no where when we cannot control the weather. The second approach is acceptance. Embracing the weather means looking for the beauty, finding a sense of gratitude, and knowing the best ways to care for ourselves when we feel the winter blues coming on.

I struggle with mild Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and this year I am entering the season with a plan to stay as healthy, energetic, and happy as I can.

Dr. Norman Rosenthal describes SAD:

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that occurs regularly, every autumn and winter, when the days get short and dark, though it may occur at other times as well. The reason it occurs mostly during the winter months is that one of the main causes of the condition is a lack of sunlight. Other situations in which people don’t get enough sunlight include cloudy or rainy periods at other times of year, living in dark places and working for long hours in dark offices. Whenever there is insufficient sunlight, those people who are vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder may develop symptoms.

As a health coach working with people by phone and Skype from places all over the United States, I discovered just how common seasonal affective disorder is. During our conversations, people often shared with me their low energy, lack of motivation, and difficulty with depression during the darker months of the winter. Symptoms of SAD range from mild to severe.

Self-awareness is crucial, as is having a plan. Here are the strategies I’m using to keep myself healthy this season:

Get More Rest

Although circumstances of life often prevent us from going to bed earlier and sleeping later, try to make adjustments where you can. Winter is traditionally a time for slowing down, reflection, and more restful activities. Keep this in mind as you plan your activities, especially now during the holiday season. Make rest a priority.

Eat Well

Low energy and depression often leads to cravings for sweets and carbohydrates, which offer a serotonin boost. But too many carbohydrates and sugar can lead to a crash and feeling even more sluggish, not to mention winter weight gains. Balance your meals with healthy sources of protein and fat.

Nuts and nut butters such as peanut, almond, and cashew provide both protein and healthy fats, and will give you a longer-lasting energy source. But avoid overdoing them, especially mindlessly munching – too many calories can add on weight.
Cottage cheese, cheese cubes, and hard-boiled eggs make nice high-protein snacks for better energy. Combine with fruits and vegetables for a balanced snack with added nutrients.
Find balance – include some of your favorite comfort foods in moderation

Light Therapy

I use additional lights, especially in the morning, to brighten my winter home. White twinkly lights in my room, a simple table lamp added to the kitchen island, and even candles brighten my spaces and lift my mood. There are “light boxes” sold specifically for treating SAD, and I have spoken to a few people who use them with success. The Mayo Clinic has a brief article on choosing the best light boxes for treating SAD.

Stay Active

It can be a challenge to be physically active during the cold winter months, especially when the days are short. I find I enjoy being outside in all kinds of weather, but it takes a whole lot of motivation to get myself dressed properly and out the door. Even short walks in fresh air can have a big impact on our mood.

Try some stretches or yoga. American Council on Exercise (ACE) has an exercise library with illustrated instructions, and videos to help you choose exercises based on equipment (even if you have none), body part, and fitness level. Visit the library here.

Spend Time in Nature

There is something therapeutic about spending time in nature. When I lived in the city, a simple walk along a tree-lined street had an effect on me. Find a nature spot, bundle up, cover up, and learn to enjoy the changing beauty with the seasons.

Ups and downs in energy and enthusiasm are natural, and I try to remind myself it’s OK to have a bad day. But when bad days become the norm, I know I need to make adjustments. And I remind myself, the sun will return, and the days will get longer.
~Michelle

Do you experience changes with the seasons? Have you felt the winter blues? How do you take care of yourself during these times?

More resources for Seasonal Affective Disorder:
Norman Rosenthal, MD – Seasonal Affective Disorder
Could Your “Holiday Blues” be Seasonal Affective Disorder? – Medline Plus

Autumn Light

8:14 am by Seeking Joyful Simplicity Leave a Comment

Autumn is here to remind us nothing lasts forever. We can hold on as tight as we can, but life goes on, the world turns, and everything changes. Have you seen it, the beauty hidden in the light? Have you felt it, the cozy feeling of home?

My sorrow, when she’s here with me, thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be; she loves the bare, the withered tree; she walks the sodden pasture lane.

~ Robert Frost

Michelle

Mindfulness and Connection – Silence Behind the Words

7:57 am by Seeking Joyful Simplicity 10 Comments

Being fully present in moments of silence, we can experience deep connections – with ourselves, with nature, with God, and with other human beings. This mindfulness and connection feels so rare these days….

So often I find myself in the habit of moving mindlessly from one activity to another. Our lives are bombarded with messages and images from news, advertising, and social media.

But where is our time for processing experiences? For taking the messages and images and translating them with deep thought and emotions? Is this how we become as a culture numb and immune to the suffering of others? Or succumb to a sense of overwhelm?

I recently had a very deep and meaningful experience that I will not even attempt to translate into words here for fear of failing miserably and destroying the beauty of it. But it was as though I had the opportunity to step outside of the dizzying pace of our modern life and to feel a profound sense of peace and connection.

As I take time today to digest this experience, I realize how it only became possible through the mindfulness and presence of my mentor and teacher Kathleen. She has an amazing ability to create and hold sacred spaces.

I am not speaking of physical spaces, but of emotional ones. This experience was with a group, and the level of intimacy, trust, and comfort we shared together was unlike anything I have ever experienced within a group outside of my family. I felt and experienced true unconditional love in a community. And it gave me hope.

“When we see the Beloved in each person, it’s like walking through a garden, watching flowers bloom all around us.” — Ram Dass

We spend our lives feeling so separate from one another. Believing that we are alone. In rare moments we feel our connection, but then the feeling passes and we believe it to be an illusion.

It is no illusion. But unless we remain mindful and present, the tenuousness of our attached souls evades us.

I have to admit, during the weekend, there were times when I felt myself impatient to move on to the next moment, to the next experience. I recognize now that I was resisting. Resisting the present moment. Which is both sad and disturbing. How can we rush through moments of beauty and joy? Hurtling through life how often do we lose the opportunities to experience the very reason for living?

I am alone today. For the first time in a very, very long while I have a chance to experience a stretch of quiet uninterrupted alone time. I could be doing so many things that need doing. Or I could be avoiding these activities with the mindless distraction of the news, a movie, or searching the internet. But I find these mindless activities leave me feeling the same as I do after over-indulging in junk food – dissatisfied, a little sick feeling, and still hungry for nourishment.

Instead I have chosen to spend my time thinking, writing, and creating. These activities always, always leave me feeling nourished and rested. And while I go about my day in solitude, I will be digesting the wonderful experience of my weekend. And pondering on how I can hold onto the sense of connection.

“We’re fascinated by the words–but where we meet is in the silence behind them.” — Ram Dass

Some questions for you –

Do you ever feel alone and disconnected from others, from yourself, from life?
Do you feel bombarded by information and and obligations?
How can you step back and feel grounded again?